When I reached GM I started team play and a lot of scrimming and hard grinding. This is when the social influence kinda started to get to me I think. The culture was very very grind focused and demands a lot of time, and I didn’t really talk this over with gail, and I think just

Acted like an asshole when she would talk about how I was never really around and never really wanted to do anything other than ow. There was a lot a lot of tension around our relationship and ow, and I remember it being a very big argued point. She was absolutely supportive of

My accomplishments and was truly happy I had found something I enjoyed, but noticed how unbalanced my life was in order to just play. And honestly it’s not even like I wanted to go pro really. The goals were the ranks themselves for a while and it was just a fun puzzle to crack

Team stuff screwed with my perception permanently I think, and I didn’t have the same goals or mindsets as those around me. I never really wanted T2 or OWL, I just enjoyed playing. Teams then emphasized 4.2, 4.3, 4.4, 4.5 as their own new ranks, so the grind continued

This must have been really confounding and frustrating to deal with in a partner, especially when they are so unwilling to give back anything for you. At this point I think I just stopped having her over mostly, and just grinded games as much as I could.

And there is no way at all that I communicated myself clearly on this issue, or gave her perspective any credence. It definitely was a pervasive issue for us throughout. I don’t really feel very good summarizing all this, kinda just a broad bloated history without much