we were together for 4.5 years and i didnt take the 2 seconds to do any research at all. we never really talked about it and it was absolutely my fault. its not her responsibility to inform me and that lack of communication is just really pathetic on my end

and i could get some vibes? of things? but thats not good enough. like the Philippines arent always considered in the pacific islands, and not in the area of polynesia either? i could be misinformed still but like wtf

like she referenced herself as multiple phrases previously and definitely identified with certain representations, and i honestly don't know how informed or interested she was in any of it or how she used labels. but thats the whole issue lol - like how can't you know

whether it be to refer to her in a way that is respectful or to have a deeper conversation about that stuff, idk it just feels important. and im aware that shes grown up her entire life in america its not like theres some personal experiences in the actual land, its more culture

obviously food, family, culture, so many different things influenced. and maybe the geography and labels aren't that important, and i got a general picture of things, but i largely avoided it tbh. idk just sorta dissapointing.

and like by the time i really started to understand social issues (im still obviously learning) the influence of that stuff was way less bc she had moved out already. idk, still just frustrating and disappointing, like pay attention, put in effort, care