Decided I wanted to do some reflection (I was not already thinking about). Being without Gail in some ways is like super freeing for me. Like there’s an additional responsibility for myself and handling things that I just didn’t have. I think even though I consciously knew she

Couldn’t just solve the way I felt about things, I forever turned to her for that and was emotionally frustrated and didn’t deal with things myself. Now I’m more forced to do that myself. Now, whether or not I’ll actually do it and do it in a healthy way is another issue.

I just think I harbored a lot of fear in the relationship, and really wanted to please her. But in a weird way that wasn’t expressed into action? Like I consciously knew and decided I have the freedom to refuse things I don’t want to do and often did so, but in my mind and

Internally I don’t think that sunk in. Which like drove a wedge because I felt like I couldn’t be honest, I had to keep her happy. Obviously the not doing things together was a wedge too but yknow this one is more interesting because it’s subtle.