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One option is just keep doing whatever feels right with relationship(s) (lmao) and by January we catch up and see, basically just act like RA. Justification being it’s what I believe and compromising that for someone, even if they’re really important to me, would be antithetical
Problem is I don’t think I’ll have many or any relationships that would be considered romantic by others by then, not like intentionally just like I don’t really do much like that lol. So I could easily just kid myself into thinking I’m acting RA when I’m really just “saving
myself” (lol ew). And obv there’s no RA doctrine I must follow perfectly, I don’t have to perform anything to prove to myself, that would be self defeating. Just saying it’s tricky to navigate.
All this thinking about future stuff is just weird. Like it’s very dependent on what she wants and that’s hard to work around. And it’s totally possible/probable my mom has just baited to me think like this lol.
Wish I had a conclusion but I don’t lol rip. Play it by ear, plenty of time, just gonna go with flow for now. Not actively seeking a “romantic” relationship rn but won’t hide away from flirting if I feel like. Going back in person will be odd, but interesting experience to
Interact with people w/o being in monogamous partnership and just in general social since I feel like I’ve changed a lot of my perspectives (lol watch me just have worse anxiety). Maybe we’ll be spread across campus, but I imagine we’ll see each other somewhere which will be
Interesting. Wonder if we’ll make it to January or just run into each other and break the rules. If I call it I call it.
Ok fr done now, this was either super deep or I’m coping and can’t get over things or something else, either way was good to think