I suppose one part of me feels like you could just say that, but I suppose that’s also a part of the challenge. And it doesn’t feel as “real”. Part of it is performing like hey this is serious, not just the blues

And ofc breaking it down like this is kinda super missing the point, esp when I’ve done reckless things related to this that are pretty nonsensical. Remember when I took like 15 Prozac (or maybe some other med?) and went to the ER? Lmao why

It’s very funny looking back and ofc makes no sense but that’s kinda the whole thing so idk. Even then tho I feel like… hm idk. Sorta just very quickly moved on from that it was kinda zz not important. Never really did much reflection on it. I remember my story being something

Like just wanting to stop feeling, not wanting to die, but idk if that was just the lie I told doctors and parents lol. Weird part was coming to parents I’m very confused why I did that. Wait did I text gail and she tell parents? Hmm

I think that makes more sense, like I was def the type to pull something like that then just ride it out, but also was super open with Gail. Wait were we fighting too? I seem to remember that too now lol

Wtf was that night lmao. Hmmm in that way it was prob like super super performative like hey I’m really bothered by this and said snd heres an action to prove it