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For RA, in high school I def struggled with understanding romance as a distinct thing, and also struggled with monogamy as it felt too constraining.
I have more to say but I have to get ready now, maybe finish later
Ok so for beds, I think I was exposed to this idea early, maybe middle school or high school, and I just loved it. Just bc you live w a “romantic” “partner” doesn’t mean you have to share a bed/room always, or that not sharing means uoure fighting. Sometimes you just need space
And time for the fault of no one, and it’s nice to have a space that feels like relaxing and safe. Gail was always p sketch on the idea but I always had it in mind when thinking about future cohabitation
That is to say I found variable living situations appealing, and that just because there are norms around relationships doesn’t mean you must conform.
Next things are things I learned from/with gail, and were brought up today when talking w parents
1st was my broad use of love. She would tell friends all the time she loved them, including me, and it always felt really nice and warm. Removing that word from a pedastal was super important to me, and continues to be super powerful conception for me to make sense of things
Especially considering the weird shit w Sydney and “I don’t L O V E you I just L O V you” LOL dank memes
Next thing was learning about jealousy. I don’t know what my disposition was like about jealousy prior to Gail, but she had lots of guy friends and I think that was really cool for me (working on heteronormative assumptions) to fix a lot of biases most ppl deal with
I still remember having certain issues with her guy friends but often I think that had to deal with their behavior, which was often coming onto her when she was not interested. There’s always a risk of me understating jealous motivations, but it honestly feels like a lot of it
Was discomfort for her discomfort and not wanting her to have to deal with stuff. Either way I think I quickly got over any jealousy type memes towards men, and subsequently towards relationships in general
There was a case when she went to Europe, but it was similarly a case of a guy coming onto her that she was uncomfy w, and I think I was more frustrated that she wasn’t transparent (but tbf she said she was struggling with making sense of his advances and how to handle and we
Were young and far away missing vibes).
And something I just thought of that was more the most recent era of like college stuff and end of relationship stuff:
Parties
Sex
Breakup itself and dealbreakers