Alt Text
Show parent replies
HOLY FUCK DUDE im watching old overwatch vods i was such a fucking cunt dude lmfao. what the hell. oh god im so embarrassed. i feel like i have to apologize to everyone i interacted with ever. i really hope i dont feel this way about myself again in a few years.
reflecting is a lot of "oh god whyyyy" but not like my typical anxiety type? its more like "i feel so bad for these people that i had to interact with" and "im horrified that people still might have this perception of me"
it just sucks that looking back my advice for everyone around me would be to just disassociate for their sake. not like "i have nothing to add" but like "i am actively harmful what the hell"
i feel like i wanna psychoanalyize why i was like this even tho that might not be great. idk i think i was disillusioned with a lot of things parents had said and didn't have good place to go from there. threw out deference to authority along with just treating people kindly