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meh i hit an energy lull
energy lows hit in a way more unappealing way when you’re not in an environment of your choice

i don’t want to obtuse about the possibility of walking yourself into rakes (i have plenty of experience with that), so maybe it has much more to do with the direct social and sensory aspects of the environment and much less to do with nebulous approximations of autonomy
whatever the diagnosis, i’m not too cheery about it, but it’s fine and i’ll decompress