and i don't think that was entirely misguided, like maybe at that stage of underdevelopment it was necessary for me to be obstinate. in any case i don't judge myself for it, but i think i'm ready to start wandering a little more.

it's kind of a weird grab-bag of influences but i think the process of becoming acquainted with stirner, nietzsche, n0thanky0u, and most significantly geuss were really the ones who had the most influence on me loosening that restriction.

i'll also note that the process of becoming acquainted was a lingering one, and it was one where i had to take their influence and live a lot more life before it foregrounded itself

stirner was an important step towards the relinquishing of influence that did not serve me, nietzsche was one of the first authors i took very seriously that clearly had Bad Views TM, n0 was ambiguous for a while and required repeated exposure to understand his shtick, and that intermediate time

where i didn't have the comforting reassurance and had to sit with the ambiguity while being intently interested was an important emotional moment. and geuss really demonstrated practically how to go about engaging with these authors by example.

he took influence from a host of sources, illustrated how supposedly more similar thinkers were actually disastrous and worse than the supposed alternative (ex. rawls // nozick),