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i think there's something extremely funny about "i haven't really talked to you for months but i'm inviting myself over for a week and even after that i don't really want to message you but i'm still eager about the trip and about seeing you"
honestly pretty fitting for my typical behavior with intimacy, very oddly shaped.
despite all its flaws, the "whole public expressions of intimacy" thing served nicely for satisfying those idiosyncratic desires while keeping some playful distance. it was obviously doomed and miserable for overdetermined reasons but it was a fun tech to try out

and ad hoc texts). the juliet stuff does upset me a little but i think thats also kind of overdetermined; in both content and form, we don't have a lot of viable overlap atm and thats kind of a bummer. i guess the answer is to wait it out but that makes me kinda sad.
i'm not in any rush with anyone else but she's unique and extraordinary, go figure