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many things to say: “boo get new material” “you have a noble savage view of NEETs” “just like, try even a little and it’d be fine”
i think it’s mostly an endearing thought pattern at this point, i’m no longer really deeply upset about it. it is what it is
i’m not just rosy retrospecting tho, they really were the most intellectually productive years of my life. these have been informative and significant too though. i’ll take a research sabbatical someday don’t worry about a thing :)