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i can’t tell if i’m sharing too much or if it’s just a mismatch in emotional availability
if it was the first weeks all over again then yeah sure, but it’s been nearly a year now
yes it has its flaws and yes it’s difficult for me to really understand what you’re feeling and thinking, i say it’s chill but i wish you would say more
it wouldn’t hurt me to not receive reciprocation, it’s okay if that’s the case, but i genuinely can’t tell how or what you feel, and i don’t know if you know either
this isn’t some soul-eating puppy love, but you are significant
i don’t mind sharing how i feel, although ive been a little more hesitant of my motives and methods lately. i would like to have a real conversation with you and i can’t lie that im somewhat disappointed

of course this isn’t new, and is a significant part of why i’m still searching. i think mentally moving on from my social circle allowed me to loosen up a bit and that’s actually great, im much more comfortable and natural this way
ig my only conclusion is that it’s difficult for me to tell if i’m heightening my emotional state by default and it’s doubly difficult if i don’t have feedback on the same level and tone
and all of this is perhaps an indication that it’s a mistake to be feeling what i have been, how could i care so much without such central communication? and i suppose i don’t have a great answer
it’s not as if i’m hopelessly enamored, i don’t feel delusional. i feel gentle, and i want the opportunity to share that with you
it’s alright, you’ve been more than patient with me (although phrasing it this way makes it seem as if i played a more significant role in your life than is appropriate, i’m aware you hardly think about me), so i’m content to be patient in turn. i still enjoy the interim