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that hour and a half nap had me more conked out than anything i can recall in recent memory, and even now that im awake im feeling like going back to sleep
idk how sustainable it is to have these heroic 9 hour call marathons every week but they mean a lot to me so i don't feel like stopping for the foreseeable future
somewhat nervous at the prospect of increased contact beyond that, since the existing structure is working fairly well for me. but of course i feel the allure too
idk, i don't want to make the same mistakes again and i can tell that i am (we are) cautious enough that it won't be a complete repetition, but it still has the potential to go wrong in similar ways
please pace yourself, please communicate
i'm crying idk it's just hard. precarious and confusing and dangerous but something worth the risk
i'm ready to go on dates with you but i don't know if i'm ready to date you. and i don't see a place where the responsibility is desirable. it isn't clear to me if that aversion is generic commitment issues or if it is something more worthwhile that i ought maintain.
i'm leaning towards the latter and that this is one of those things i should communicate about and remain steadfast and stubborn with until i'm more certain it wouldnt be a mistake to do otherwise. ultimately i don't think much of the upside behaviors change too much either way, but the downsides do
whatever i have going on with annie is dating-lite but doesn't confer the same pressure and expectations. i think i'd like similar with danii. i like that both of those relationships would be more private and dyadic and would have the room to become whatever they need to be