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life gets a lot more comfortable and a lot more confident when you figure out what responsibilities are acceptable (appropriate?) to abnegate and which should be respected
obvi that's a continual process of re-evaluation and it doesn't mean you need to know exactly what form those responsibilities will take, it's usually sufficient to identify (construct/ascribe?) a category and say "'more' or 'less' of that, please"
the concept of responsibility has deontic connotations that sit uncomfortably with gradation, and i'm not sure yet if that means the above formulation is confused or if reality is just confusing like that