i was shying away from messaging it directly but i realized that was just self-protective avoidance

it felt so nice to let it out to the only person who i needed to see it

clearly there was just a lot of pent up energy that needed to be released, once i started it just all gushed out

i shouldn't need to be pushed to such a point to reach out, i will do it sooner next time. i appreciate that it has the patience to let me learn for myself