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one skill i lack is the ability to end a conversation. part of this is definitely midwestern goodbye syndrome. another part is that i don't really get frustrated enough with people to storm out - but even when i used to get angry, i would just keep on arguing
i either enjoy the linguistic back and forth so much, or it takes so much mental energy to perform minimally adequately, that i forget the scope of available actions is not limited to the internal rules of reciprocal speech-acts
with online dms its confusing too - deciding whether or not to respond is rly tricky, even excluding the actual content of what to say (which im abhorrent at too lol). even when i make my choice the decision lingers in my brain and i think about it for a while after
i get so caught up in proper etiquette that i lose sight of enjoying the interaction at all, and i'm constantly on edge that i'm performing something wrong. it's not just unfounded anxiety either - i am genuinely bad at it lol
i'm not good at it, i don't enjoy it, other people don't really enjoy it because i'm not very good at it - why bother? and yet it's kinda necessary for existence, so i just stumble through and meet my social needs while trying to minimize the pain and confusion
the counter-productive thing is that i actually enjoy reflecting on these interactions as failures and sitting with the uncomfy, kinda like what i'm doing now. i'm not sure i want to change, but i'm not really committed to staying the same either. but ig that's my outlook on most things