i sometimes forget how long it’s been since i’ve had a male companion i respect. plenty of boys i’ve admired and spent time with, but haven’t had a true guy friend since maybe elementary school, and even that was rather stilted.
then again maybe i’m overthinking and setting too high of a bar. idk, i just don’t remember a time i’ve been able to be both vulnerable/comfortable and hold a boy in high regard as an “equal” in some sense.