willow: "as in, if my actions are given any sort of attention and treated with even a modicum of significance, they are seen to be terrible, in the least extraordinary way. even call them “my actions” is a misnomer. there are flows of energy using me as a vessel. the container is incidental."

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willowApr 19, 2024

idk how to express this in a way that doesn't make me sound like a pseud but like i've been thinking about how history is comprised of a series of mundane events that are retrospectively given interpretive significance. viewing my actions in this light is devastating.

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willow @dreary.dev

as in, if my actions are given any sort of attention and treated with even a modicum of significance, they are seen to be terrible, in the least extraordinary way. even call them “my actions” is a misnomer. there are flows of energy using me as a vessel. the container is incidental.

April 19, 2024 at 11:55 PM

willowApr 19, 2024

the idea of autonomy is a spook, and nonetheless external motivations so egregious are impossible to ignore. i want ceaselessness. i want respite from the shallow unending grindstone gnawing away at my flesh. i’m unrecognizable, yet all too familiar. i want out.