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one time i put together a piano arrangement of “Tear In My Heart” and performed it for her as a surprise
i cried in her arms because i was so anxious

in retrospect the arranging was infinitely more meaningful and significant to me, as a way to focus and direct my affections into a creation the performance was a distortion of this passion to an extent the whole experience is indicative of my rather odd way of relating to people
i’m glad i’m no longer in her life, i’m just sad she’s no longer in mine