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i’ve decided to give up on aspiring to intelligence. i’m far behind and my improvements are at such a pathetic rate. it doesn’t matter if it’s circumstance or deficient character, it’s a waste to try. i’ll be happier giving up, and you’d be sparing them the secondhand embarrassment. avoid failure.
if only it were that simple. you’ll suffer and fail, and that’s okay. it’ll be humiliating, and yes it’d be better if you didn’t have friends, had more time/energy, and hadn’t made horrendous life choices. you won’t be great or even good, and you’ll be sad, but you’ll persist.
i don’t want to.
i’m sorry.