willow: "i'm always told "well yes, of course you must punch in your 45 hours that are corrosive and deadening, but think of the life you can live outside of those hours!". but it's not as if my life outside is not deeply influenced by how i spend the bulk of my time."

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willowFeb 25, 2025

i don’t mind the words, and i appreciate the engagement 🙂 unfortunately my rejoinder is going to be same old and tired one i always use (mostly in deactivated prxr threads): i am simply not individually powerful enough to meaningfully overcome my conditions, and its not as simple as choosing better.

willowJun 9, 2024

it's really sad to think about honestly, the counterfactual of what i could be. and it's easy to think like "oh that's dumb just do the thing anyway" but what i'm mourning is not so much the activities themselves but the type of self that would be motivated to do said activities

willowFeb 25, 2025

[sidebar: i obviously can't reconstruct the thread but my half of the most explicit prxr convo can be found with main.bsky.dev/search?q=fro... // pdsls.dev/at://did:plc... 3l53erhsh5622 ]

alice robertsSep 26, 2024

simply untrue. i cannot think or will myself out of weakness. that power has pre-requisites, namely the means of reproducing myself. because i have been dispossessed of the means of production, i do not have access to this without working for someone who does, thereby undermining the original goal.

willowFeb 25, 2025

especially if that “choice” is relegated to the private sphere. it’s not a victory to carve out happiness where i'm granted the permission, it’s a shameful acquiesce to the status quo.

willow @dreary.dev

i'm always told "well yes, of course you must punch in your 45 hours that are corrosive and deadening, but think of the life you can live outside of those hours!". but it's not as if my life outside is not deeply influenced by how i spend the bulk of my time.

willowJun 9, 2024

February 25, 2025 at 5:50 PM

willowFeb 25, 2025

i'm aware mine is a hopeless and unreasonable demand; nonetheless, the strategy of making peace with my situation is grossly offensive. writhing when pain is inflicted upon me is the last vestige of humanity i can hang onto. i am philosophically opposed to happiness.

willowDec 12, 2024

adorno, negative dialectics, 352

The chances are that every citizen of the wrong world would find the right one unbearable; he would be too impaired for it. To the consciousness of intellectuals who do not sympathize with the world spirit, this should add a dash of tolerance amidst their resistance. If a man will not be stopped from differing and criticizing, he is still not free to put himself in the right. Throughout the world, of course, no matter under which political system, such added indulgence would be ostracized is decadent. The aporia extends to the teleological concept of a happiness of mankind that would be the happiness of individuals; the fixation of one's own need and one's own longing mars the idea of a happiness that will not arise until the category of the individual ceases to be self-seclusive. Happiness is not invariant; to be always the same is the essence of unhappiness alone.
From the start, whatever happiness is intermittently tolerated or granted by the existing entirety bears the marks of its own particularity. 4 To this day, all happiness is a pledge of what has not yet been, and the belief in its imminence obstructs its becoming.

fwiw i’m basically saying the opposite of “just let people be happy dude”

willowFeb 25, 2025

apologies for throwing so much at you, this is just a well-worn path of mine that i obviously have lots to say on and i won't let go. luv u lots