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been thinking about online disagreement lately and i've arrived at the unfortunate conclusion that it's contextual and conditions for positively evaluating a particular method of engagement are not antecedently specifiable
i will say however that my reflection was spurred by being impressed with the futility in certain adversarial interactions and wishing that people took advantage of more creative and indirect methods.
on the other hand, i've had a number of thoughtful and expository engagements lately that felt appropriate and kind. and further still, i still maintain that there are plenty of occasions where overt confrontation is beneficial:
to defend indirect engagement for a moment: partly it's because i think squabbling can sometimes preclude the full expression and development of one's own perspective, and partially it's a matter of some positions best being best expressed in the tone "try thinking of it this way"
over the years i've also become increasingly impressed with all the ways in which i can harm those i care for during the heat of passion. i've won plenty of arguments that have lost me plenty of friends, and i can tell you which constituent i recall more vividly.