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ngl i really fumbled the last one and im never clear about my purpose with such things (even to myself, which causes me to flounder when challenged). had a long talk with kasey about it and we kinda settled on "actually this was a call-out post for your affluent followers in disguise"
like yea i'm a part of it but that's not really the primary purpose, it's more like performative over the top self-flagellation with the intention to remind people that this shit is not benign or innocuous, it doesn't come from nowhere, one ought reflect on it's sources, integration, usage, etc etc.
lowkey i also just hate the obscurity and pretending everyone has about this stuff too. everyone presents themselves as something they are not and the only real way to verify is to be obnoxiously transparent. but it either comes off as genuinely guilt-ridden or humble bragging.

i'm kinda done trying to spread or share what i think. for one i'm not as sharp as before. it also just doesn't matter. i sorta just have an accumulation of blurry dispositions and reactions, and im grateful for those, but at this point i'm inarticulate and don't have any fight in me.
i don't care about anything other than my friends and it sucks to see them hurt all the time and no one pays it any mind. we're all so much more damaged than we realize and everyone is just trying to protect themselves and maintain their pride instead.
yes affirmation and yay-saying are good, but when it's purpose is cowardly ego defense or ignorant pride it's just weakness. i'm weak too and i don't know what to do and i can't fix the world. so i guess i'll acknowledge myself privately, place my focus elsewhere, and make the most of what i have.