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i can't have a conversation sometimes, like i have this strange habit of just thinking about a connection from thing a to thing b and then i either express that and lead the convo into weird territory or i try to suppress it and can't think of anything else
you're allowed to reply in earnest and on topic. although idk maybe it shows a lack of interest in the subject, which is fair enough
the one constant in my life is my inability to communicate properly with juliet
you are quite dramatic
tbh i gotta being so self-conscious when it's pretty clearly a two-way street. just hard when i care. i suppose i could try to talk about it explicitly but that sort of meta-discussion tends to not be enjoyable for her. clearly she has other things on her mind today anyway
i don't know what to think when you repeat all the things you'd like to do, it's all in the future. there's this chasm of imagination to action and i don't know what it will take for you to bridge it. if i knew how i'd support you in that, but it seems like something you'll have to find for yourself
i stop speaking in wishes or hopes when i truly want something to happen. if i want it, it is done. it's not always that simple and sometimes i'm powerless but oftentimes speaking about having overcome a past self is hyperstitional
this episode on "will post a long ass thread vaguely about you on a secret alt"
part of this is that i'm cowardly with juliet. we talk about wanting people that will push back on us, push us forward. but it's evident through my behavior that i don't want or can't handle that kind of relationship with her, at least where i'm doing the pushing. slight nudges at best
i think i'm insufficiently motivated to do anything about that for now though, which is fine