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skeetgen visualization makes it (slightly) less pathetic to reference but yea u have to be mindful about it
also if ill say that, at least for me, deletion had a lot of causes and motivations bound up in it. so sure maybe sometimes references can make death less meaningful, but making contextual carve-outs isn't so bad because there isn't some central commitment i'm betraying
im less concerned about respect for the dead and more concerned about how contact with the dead will affect the living