And then I took the exam and that was very mentally stimulating as well as tiring, but in a good way. After that I ate, and I think I ate more than I had been. For the last few days, I had kept a pretty close eye on how much I was eating and was pretty concerned with how much

Like setting rules for when I could eat next and how much, etc. I think eating more contributed to feeling better? Like for my body. But now reflecting on that, it doesn’t feel good at all lol. Like I feel pretty gross. I’m trying to think about that. Dr. K and other therapy ppl

Mention how you should sort of allow yourself your initial reaction and recognize that that is okay, and I’m not sure how I feel about that, or even how to go about that. My intuition is just to shut it down and be like well yeah that’s bad

I’m also thinking back to like the basic therapy stuff about food, how I have most control over my actions, medium control over my thoughts, and little control over my emotions. It’s just so difficult I feel so gluttonous and out of control. I don’t think I have a binge ED

Like my “binges” are prob just normal meals but holy shit like reflecting on my day I feel like I’ve eaten so much. Fuck it’s really hard, and managing snack type food or timing intervals is a big challenge. I think it would be nice to have a nutritionist or coach or something

Anyway I’m way off track basically I’m not sure if reactivating my brain for the exam, eating a more normal amount, or the subsequent engagement in philosophy was the thing that made me feel better. Prob a combo, and prob built on each other. Like had to prep for exam ->