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went for a walk today, not entirely sure why, just felt like it. enjoyed it. I think a big part of me "growing up" is me coming to learn that I can enjoy things I thought I couldn't/didn't, and that most of my dislike came from me doing things on other people's terms.
If I have complete autonomy over my choices, many things can be enjoyable. I may struggle to recognize instances and opportunities at first, because of their unfamiliar nature. Not to mention, often I feel like I didn't enjoy things because of who I was with, or the fact that
I was with anyone at all. Not necessarily personal, I just enjoy time with myself, even in doing things most people would do socially. Like this walk around took a long time, and was less of a walk and was more of travelling to various places, sitting down, and taking things in
for a bit. I brought things with me in my backpack in case I wanted to read or play with a cube but nope, just felt like watching people or looking at scenery. when I felt like it, I walked home.
That's the first time in months that I've left my apartment by myself, and only the third/fourth time since I've moved in lol. And I don't wanna play this up too much bc its not like i was WOW IM ENJOYING THIS, it was just nice and fine. Like often going out feels like a waste
of time and energy but it wasn't like that, it was just fine. I was tired when I got home, but I took the space to relax, it was nice.Nothing groundbreaking, just nice. And I think for me that's a lot better, I spend most of my time and enjoyment in things that are just fine/nice
So this gives me good reason to think its sustainable and good and fine to do, not like some wild one off thing that im just randomly entranced with.
Also, a funny realization I had was that I had been taking vitamin D supplements consistently for a bit, but recently sorta stopped/became pretty inconsistent. It would be funny if my desire to go out was my body just craving sunlight for more vitamins lol