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This sounds like I’m trying to be virtuous or whatever but that’s not what I’m saying. Like we just have sorta big gaps like that, and while different people can for sure be chill together idk if that’s what she wants. I don’t say that to put the blame on her or anything,
Just think about the cost/benefit (neolib brain strikes again) I get partner with $$ security and ambition, and cost is vacation, getting her commodities, expectation of doing things TM, solo partner (Relationship anarchy arc pls 🙏)
She gets: no $, confused motivation (motivation is bourgeoisie work is prison etc etc) grumpy do nothing rat baby (so sorry for the speciesism), but cool person 😎. Idk just doesn’t seem super worth. And obv methodology of cost benefit is absurd in this context, but still she’s
Gotta look out for herself yknow? Anyway all this is to say idk what I want but I’d be interested in talking with her. I really do want her to be happy and don’t want to hold her back in any way. Ig not much different than when we broke up lol. Maybe indicates not enough growth
But idk. Don’t wanna be unhealthy attached forever, but obv super cool person I won’t ever forget. Ig hard bc I got dumped and was fine enough with how things were. Before this I felt pretty at peace with not being together but idk
Like cool person -> want relationship of some kind + no distinction between platonic/romantic makes hard. Feels like hope for relationship is hard cope tho, and like it’s hard to fully get over w/o closure, but that kind of closure has to come from her bc I won’t cut off
Messy bc if we were both RAs it would just be having another relationship, but instead it excludes other ppl :/ I know unfair to her and lots of work and doesn’t look good like I’m being cringe horny guy misogynist but that’s not how I think :/ full thread btw might start another