Alright I’m gonna try to write my thoughts out. So she’s been on my mind more often recently, and I think that’s best explained by an initial thought and then bc it’s recent brain can associate fresh things with. But still I think sorting through feelings on will be important

And useful. So first thing that I think is most informative is somewhat mixed reaction to thinking about meeting her again. I think this was caused by me thinking about how many months left in year or something. Anyway usually it’s very hopeful or positive thoughts, like I miss

Her. And I think that missing feeling has gone away, at least the most visceral feeling of like something feeling off/lacking without her. Like I have thought about her lots less bc I just didn’t really need to yk. I think that’s a positive thing like feeling dependent sucks