Lmfao it sucks so fucking much being afraid to speak, finally doing it, then having a horrendous experience. I can feel my harmful psychological dispositions being reinforced and i hate it.

I’m not meaning to blame my anxiety or whatever, I also just genuinely suck at talking. But then I also get in these loops where it’s like “fuck anxiety, just say your shit” and then it’s dumb or awkward or I put myself on a path I can’t follow through on