Lol fk there’s this girl named Maya in my class and she’s super cute and we got paired to talk and I was really nerv >.< I feel like social stuff is really hard bc my personality has developed into kinda flirty sounding default? Like I’ll constantly compliment friends and call

Out things I think are cute for ex. But that’s really hard to do right away with ppl bc I don’t wanna give wrong idea or uncomfy impression. So I kinda just construct personality I feel is more acceptable, but then I’m just… boring and not me at all

And ofc there is no “true” personality and it’s all created and mediated in variable social contexts but what I’m trying to say is that I intentionally alter how I present and it’s a way that I don’t love, but I don’t know how else

Like and I hate how the persons gender I’m talking to changes it. And ofc it’s partially on them too, like for instance I’m totally able to act like a bro when I’m around a guy acting that way, and while I hate it it’s also like fine whatever idc bc ig I’m used to

Much more comfortable role I can slip into given my socialization. But with cis women it’s sorta weird I feel for me. Like if I was more femme presenting I feel like I could get away with my less curated personality with compliments and such, but I worry about making ppl feel