;LAKSDJF;LKJ aghghgh now im remembering even more cringe someone was talking about their certificates stuff and comparing w me and brought up global health and i said my ex did that and aghghgh so weird i feel idk maybe not ugh i just hate that in between zone

like w ren i was able to just be giga honest right away and we flowed super well yk but this shit is way too hard irl i cant do small talk stuff bc the stuff i actually care about is like big picture shit!!!

they even brought up and mentioned like political shit (CRT and school stuff) so im sure if i leaned into that more id be fine im just really surfing in a weird zone idk and like 80% if not all of it is self imposed. i just dont wanna alienate people but its hard when im unsure

ill be okay, im glad im thinking this through bc now hopefully i can let it be processed and not dwell. i genuinely had good time and it was interesting to hear them talk too. a bit uncomfy experience but its good! def glad i did it and nice opportunity to branch and yeah