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I don’t think I’ve thought about this explicitly very much but I’ve def noticed that over the past year or so, my libido has been really low, and I actually think there are a lot of theories that can at least partially explain why.
For starters, the obvious. The timing is a bit too convenient, yeah? But even identifying breakup timing doesn’t tell the whole story. We weren’t having sex at all near the end, and iirc (I hope I recall correctly) pretty quickly after she talked about her feelings around
I dropped stuff. I really hope that’s the case but my recent looking back at messages and realizing how much of an asshole makes me… worried. Really gross.
Anyway I think I was still pretty active personally while we were waiting stuff out (I even bought lube for the first time which caused a minor argument lol) and it’s not like even at our most we had sex a ton, but I just bring up bc I feel like it influenced my perception of sex
A bunch. I don’t remember how I was immediately following breakup, but I could imagine either way.
I think a big part is my changing understanding and phenomenological experience of gender (my own and others). I was more fully able to accept that I wasn’t straight and explore a bit. I think it helped dislodge my mental objectification of women’s bodies and problematics my
Attraction. The other thing is my internal understanding of gender changed a bunch, and I started to relate to / gender envy (cringe TikTok but it fits) towards women and more feminine presentation. My attraction to others is very similar if not identical to how I’d like
My own presentation to be now. Which is sorta weird thinking about it and prolly root of a lot, but I don’t know what to make of that yet.
Something related I’ll mention is a greater uncomfortably with what is presented in porn, before it was sort of conceptually understanding it was weird and bad but now it’s a lot more visceral and emotional.