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this isn’t exactly right but there is lots of evidence for it. the unfortunate case of anna, the elation of being told to slow down by annie, the disinterest that swallows relationships after having conquered their affection, my baffling persisting casual interest in hailey, ollie/julie qpr
the other perspective is like, usually someone being interested in me is bothersome. it’s not so much about domination as it is about not being intruded upon. evidence: cinny/chloe chill vibes, the benign annoyance of kasey demandingness, whatever low-stress things i’ve landed on now w ppl
that’s the push factor. the pull factor explanation of why i can get so giddy/affectionate is that 1) yea duh new sparkles fun exuberance 2) its annoying when people hold back for arbitrary reasons and i want to break that glass ceiling so we can hang out and figure out things for real.
after reaching that summit point together where everything is unlocked and nothing is off limits, that’s when it feels like the relationship can actually start. but this is problematic because 1) it’s manipulative 2) a decent amount of time/connection has probably taken place to get to that point
3) the evaluation can be pretty sharp and jarring for both parties when it finally drops. everything before then is like singlemindedly in pursuit of more more more while postponing proper reflection