academia is so silly man

lev dm'd me talking about how theyre reading capital (yea, that capital) for the first time which already insane for someone in a crit th*ory group but its even more crazy: theyre LEADING a grad seminar discussion on it??

there was so much anxiety in academia of not knowing enough, not doing your homework, and it was all bullshit. no real thoughts were had, no connections ever. it was all just vague gestures at caricatures, and you were graded by professors and TAs on the same

its not just "oh teehee how silly whatever tsk tsk" and its not just about the psychological damage thats inflicted, its about the fucking death of higher thinking, about wasting yours and everyone elses time at every turn

i tried for years to fit in and observe what other people were doing because surely there was something to it, everyone was doing it for some underlying actually valuable reason but no, its all a mirage and a waste and you should just do the reading instead