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it's one of those things that doesn't integrate nicely with some other sentiments ive accumulated over the years but i think it's an instance where practice beats theory
very crudely, it's important i maintain a public-private identity bifurcation. kasey is disjoint from all my other relationships and also basically the only person in my life i can speak freely with. which like yea, i wish it was otherwise but ive learned that brute forcing it doesn't work
and i don't mean to imply a devaluation of any of my other relationships or put kasey on a pedestal because it's honestly not like i feel especially affectionate towards her right now or anything
idk it's a strange time for me but my footing is sturdier than before, even if i'm still rather ungraceful