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i think it is important for me to maintain two discords for now even tho i use the other one so often
and it's important that i keep messaging kasey there even though the other one would work just as well
it's one of those things that doesn't integrate nicely with some other sentiments ive accumulated over the years but i think it's an instance where practice beats theory
very crudely, it's important i maintain a public-private identity bifurcation. kasey is disjoint from all my other relationships and also basically the only person in my life i can speak freely with. which like yea, i wish it was otherwise but ive learned that brute forcing it doesn't work
and i don't mean to imply a devaluation of any of my other relationships or put kasey on a pedestal because it's honestly not like i feel especially affectionate towards her right now or anything
idk it's a strange time for me but my footing is sturdier than before, even if i'm still rather ungraceful