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i would feel bad about muen leaving without getting a proper goodbye but she's kind of a terrible communicator and not actually very interested in me nowadays
it's this strange thing where i feel like im obligated to be the punching bag but don't really enjoy that dynamic too much anymore, it feels kinda outdated
and i get she's upset we didn't talk for a while and that i probably could have been a better friend but also it's kinda unclear how much i really enjoyed her company anymore, i mean i was dodging her for a while for a reason
it was nice to do things with her and be invited to things, she was pleasant enough company in small and intermittent doses
it really made more sense as a relationship prior to her getting a new job. and yknow i think i have an appreciation now for relationships of circumstance that persist beyond their initial reason for being, but that does mean they'll maintain the same significance or weightiness
still, it's unfortunate not to have the chance to extend the marginal effort to see her off properly. or rather, to have the chance but to have it ruined for such underwhelming reasons