i would feel bad about muen leaving without getting a proper goodbye but she's kind of a terrible communicator and not actually very interested in me nowadays

it's this strange thing where i feel like im obligated to be the punching bag but don't really enjoy that dynamic too much anymore, it feels kinda outdated

and i get she's upset we didn't talk for a while and that i probably could have been a better friend but also it's kinda unclear how much i really enjoyed her company anymore, i mean i was dodging her for a while for a reason

it was nice to do things with her and be invited to things, she was pleasant enough company in small and intermittent doses

it really made more sense as a relationship prior to her getting a new job. and yknow i think i have an appreciation now for relationships of circumstance that persist beyond their initial reason for being, but that does mean they'll maintain the same significance or weightiness