and yet i'm not like completely swept off my feet or overly romantic about it all, i don't feel pressure and i don't feel exuberance

sometimes she'll just say something and i'll start leaking or my breath will be completely stolen or i'll squirm around in excitement

it's also great that all of this is interspersed with casual conversation, i have fun with her but i appreciate thats not all it is

honestly i think this is just the result of having a sexually interested relationship alongside enough comfortability and mutual respect to be able to talk openly with her. before others i was able to be more directly to her and while initially i think this was the result of some fed-up emotions and

a lack of care for what might come of the relationship, the resulting conversations actually made me respect her a lot more and get into her headspace. it's sweet and special and i like that no one has to get it but us

it was really hard when we had to be public and when we had to make ourselves understood to roommates and partners and we manage a lot better when it's just the two of us