spectacular particularity has never been more true

i’m so different because all the people i love are so different

i kept being tempted with phrasings of stance-independent admiration

which is just adorbz as a concept

tempted not because i think in that way but because im trying to express that there is some skilled deployment beyond my rosy interpretation

a vivid type of fuzzy

that’s a cute way of putting it

the people i love are extraordinary and articulate (i think i love their words because they are theirs, but additionally they are clever and put ideas together in beautiful ways)

am i really gonna vpn in for a workplan

i think not

mm can see my email and badger me if need be idc

basically all anarchists are bumbling retards

yes, even the ones i like

the best anarchists are council coms in denial

this book is literally so funny dude

im not gonna make it far tonight, im kinda wiped, but theres no way i can't finish it

(i'm doing my periodic check-in on the dedicated relationship anarchism literature just in case someone has written anything worthwhile. spoiler alert: absolutely not)

updated my website

overdue, i didnt feel like making a good replacement so i just tore out all the things i didn't want

encrypted gif with private healthcare information

every day i am forced to endure others’ writing

each sunrise is an opportunity for new abuses of the english language

“i think the affiliate worded this beautifully so i will attach their documentation to provide the context” and its a word doc somehow scrawled in crayon

i helped a 4 year tenure implementation director install linkifier last week

i should really learn peoples names better

me adding and removing a period from my parent child extended properties every two weeks to keep the mods off my back

kaseys everywhere hate this one ingenious trick

violet evergarden as slice of life???

average slice of life

wait a minute chloe’s kinda on some shit with that one, let her cook

start all the work programs, go to the bathroom, maybe a stroll around campus, they’re be finished initializing by the time i’m back

still waiting on this update btw

take your time kiddo, it’s only gating like the highest priority things i have to do today

“chatgpt for visual design” presentation at monthly staff meeting, futur and julie are screaming

tfw ur claims ts crush has a boyfriend on her lock screen ❤️‍🩹

there are only two options: give it up and hop on the claims is your wife brought you instead, or double down and steal her boyfriend’s heart

one of these days i’m going to have to grapple with my avoidant strategies of protection, which is hard because they work really well in the short term

this is a trivial example but it’s basically always my answer to things, and it works. i think part of the reason i was so stubborn with dreary.dev and triggering myself with excessive self-exposure was a clumsy attempt to brute-force confront avoidance

i told myself that i couldn’t keep running, and eventually i couldn’t take it anymore, ran away, and things got better for me. how am i supposed to get better if it keeps working

to which it raises the obvious question to interrogate why i even care to change in the first place. it’s working, why are you so adamant on stopping?

and the answer is that i cannot keep living in anxiety and fear my whole life. there are some situations i simply can’t run away from. some things will make me uncomfortable some of the time and i have to be able to not merely temporarily and passively endure through it, but meaningfully engage

that doesn’t mean i have to make myself uncomfortable on purpose, especially in contexts that are ostensibly intended to be pleasant, but it’s also not as simple as bracketing off domains of life

oh yea btw im like chill now, despite the sad-whatever posting, being alone this weekend was nice

stepping away from this account was important and beneficial too, sometimes i just need no eyes on me

oh yeah it defi was bc katherine apologized for food meetup lol

i’m better than i was but it’s still hard for me