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idk its not even like sadness per se, it's more like lack of purpose. i have all sorts of drives but lack the temporal and psychological resources to cultivate them properly into powers and creations in the way i'd like - and as a result i become demotivated from pursuing them.
in which case maybe the solution is, suck it up, get good, try anyway. which yea fair enough - i'm overstating the issue and i'm trapping myself to an extent.
the other solution is to say that the diagnosis is incorrect - i don't need purpose, i need momentum, i need distraction. spend time with your gf you fucking dummy, that makes you happy, that gives you some semblance of meaning.