i actually tried several times to get a result and kept quitting before finishing because it made me upset. i hate the type of thinker i have become over the last two years. i don't even have cognitive access to a version of myself that would be more adequate.

my past is not a utopian blueprint, but i've been traveling in the wrong direction for a while now, and i wish i could trace my steps back to a place where i could start over. that being said, here are my results: 1) tangled mess 2) how i think when given space to breathe; philosophically 3) work