yea absolutely, part of the point of the post was to draw attention to the distinction between my actual enjoyment and my evaluation, in a somewhat self-critical mode (of my current self’s evaluation), or at least raise suspicion

i’m still just kinda ambivalent about it all. i can appreciate the positive memories, but they’re accompanied by a twinge of sadness because of the broader context that i now see them embedded within. and i can appreciate that sadness in its own way too, but it’s not the same

in general though i’m not too keen on focusing on discrete memories or moments as a reflection of the relationship. i usually frame things through the lens of the individual and their virtues, and moments are just instantiations of their more general admirable traits.

the focus is on “the type of person that would do x thing”. again that’s just more of a descriptive summary of how i normally think about these things, idrk how i evaluate it