making personal sacrifices for her is the easiest thing to do. sure, I won't enjoy it as much as her and maybe not as much as she'd like me to, but I won't be miserable.

And now I suppose I have to think about this from her perspective. Would she be interested in a relationship like that? I mean she would definitely want me to have a job, but would probably be pretty flexible with me, and I could make it up by doing the bills and housework

Going on trips and adventures and things would be frustrating probably, and because I sort of lack the genuine interest that would lose the magic that she feels in them. I could force myself, and I could act like whatever, but that shines through and isn't sustainable.

I don't know, maybe it would be possible, but I think she would remain unfulfilled. And I think I would probably be unfulfilled as well. Instead of selling out, I would be profiting off of a synthetic relationship out of fear of life.

She is protective and safe and I have a bad habit of really playing it safe in life. But I also have a bad habit of not taking on the responsibilities that the current paradigm offers. Even if it's shit and cruel and oppressive, at some point I will have to sell out for someone

else's profit. It's not fair of me to take advantage of someone else merely because the surrounding systems suck. Or maybe it is, idk, ethics is hard. Regardless I know it wouldn't work for her, so it won't work at all.