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also idk why but im a little over the heavy restricting. i am glad about where my weight is at rn, though id like it to be a little lower (straddling the line between underweight and normal would be 馃い). The 1500 was too little I think tho. As I mentioned before I was having

itself is useful and nice though, so I'll keep doing that. And weighing myself every week I'll continue as well. I think I'll be able to remain feeling in control without killing myself, which seems like a fair balance.
internal conflict like this is weird without the audience. Maybe I've just matured but I wouldn't give myself that much credit. I think I enjoyed the attention or at least other people perceiving me as having some sort of issue, regardless of what that was like.
Here I quickly progressed through multiple stages of relapse, and now I am coming back around to normal(ish) (fingers crossed). Being forced to problem solve by myself is certainly interesting, and I definitely solve things more quickly on my own.
The attention and support and care is nice, but being forced to figure shit out on my own is certainly effective, at least for smaller stuff like this I suppose.