also idk why but im a little over the heavy restricting. i am glad about where my weight is at rn, though id like it to be a little lower (straddling the line between underweight and normal would be 🤤). The 1500 was too little I think tho. As I mentioned before I was having

lots of side effects and I couldn't focus. So I changed my app to be losing 1/2 lb per week rather than 1 lb, but I think my metabolism is hosed anyway. Its been through a lot so I feel like it just adapts really quickly now to changes in how much food. I think just the tracking

itself is useful and nice though, so I'll keep doing that. And weighing myself every week I'll continue as well. I think I'll be able to remain feeling in control without killing myself, which seems like a fair balance.

internal conflict like this is weird without the audience. Maybe I've just matured but I wouldn't give myself that much credit. I think I enjoyed the attention or at least other people perceiving me as having some sort of issue, regardless of what that was like.

Here I quickly progressed through multiple stages of relapse, and now I am coming back around to normal(ish) (fingers crossed). Being forced to problem solve by myself is certainly interesting, and I definitely solve things more quickly on my own.