.: "internal conflict like this is weird without the audience. Maybe I've just matured but I wouldn't give myself that much credit. I think I enjoyed the attention or at least other people perceiving me as having some sort of issue, regardless of what that was like."

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.Mar 28, 2021

also idk why but im a little over the heavy restricting. i am glad about where my weight is at rn, though id like it to be a little lower (straddling the line between underweight and normal would be 🤤). The 1500 was too little I think tho. As I mentioned before I was having

.Mar 28, 2021

lots of side effects and I couldn't focus. So I changed my app to be losing 1/2 lb per week rather than 1 lb, but I think my metabolism is hosed anyway. Its been through a lot so I feel like it just adapts really quickly now to changes in how much food. I think just the tracking

.Mar 28, 2021

itself is useful and nice though, so I'll keep doing that. And weighing myself every week I'll continue as well. I think I'll be able to remain feeling in control without killing myself, which seems like a fair balance.

.@disheveled.diary.dreary.dev

internal conflict like this is weird without the audience. Maybe I've just matured but I wouldn't give myself that much credit. I think I enjoyed the attention or at least other people perceiving me as having some sort of issue, regardless of what that was like.

March 28, 2021 at 9:58 PM

.Mar 28, 2021

Here I quickly progressed through multiple stages of relapse, and now I am coming back around to normal(ish) (fingers crossed). Being forced to problem solve by myself is certainly interesting, and I definitely solve things more quickly on my own.

.Mar 28, 2021

The attention and support and care is nice, but being forced to figure shit out on my own is certainly effective, at least for smaller stuff like this I suppose.