Anyway I think I was still pretty active personally while we were waiting stuff out (I even bought lube for the first time which caused a minor argument lol) and it’s not like even at our most we had sex a ton, but I just bring up bc I feel like it influenced my perception of sex

A bunch. I don’t remember how I was immediately following breakup, but I could imagine either way.

I think a big part is my changing understanding and phenomenological experience of gender (my own and others). I was more fully able to accept that I wasn’t straight and explore a bit. I think it helped dislodge my mental objectification of women’s bodies and problematics my

Attraction. The other thing is my internal understanding of gender changed a bunch, and I started to relate to / gender envy (cringe TikTok but it fits) towards women and more feminine presentation. My attraction to others is very similar if not identical to how I’d like

My own presentation to be now. Which is sorta weird thinking about it and prolly root of a lot, but I don’t know what to make of that yet.

Something related I’ll mention is a greater uncomfortably with what is presented in porn, before it was sort of conceptually understanding it was weird and bad but now it’s a lot more visceral and emotional.