Ok trial 2. Basically I think I’m overall glad I’ve not felt the need to think about her as much. Before when imagining meeting up it felt like I could be going back to something safe and familiar, like it would remove the tension and pain of absence I was feeling.

Alright I’m gonna try to write my thoughts out. So she’s been on my mind more often recently, and I think that’s best explained by an initial thought and then bc it’s recent brain can associate fresh things with. But still I think sorting through feelings on will be important

This is so cool (didn’t wanna qt bc small acc lol) I really gotta write out my thoughts soon, bc clearly this is something I was wanting to share w Gail

went down a gintis pipeline and found this interview, really interesting progression and perspective. I think I still disagree about what he calls postmodernism (rick wolff postmodern??) and that its harmful and useless, https://t.co/8kDeaek5d1

Towards a Political Economy of Education: A Radical Critique of Ivan Illich 's Deschooling Society by Herbert Gintis - very good at describing my frustrations with Illich

Aaah I had a long dream about gail (not romantic/sexual just hanging out) and when I was coming out of it I reached across my bed to try to hold her/cuddle. Lol kinda embarrassing kinda cute that brain went there

Had a weird moment where I thought about talking to/ meeting up with Gail again and felt like nervous and apprehensive, where most of the time I have felt like really looking forward to and then a subsequent guilt kinda thing about that feeling. Idk how to make sense of either rn

Almost done with vol 1 of capital, have really enjoyed the lecture series alongside makes things way easier to understand, and I like the slow and deep pace. Shame I don’t think I’ll be able to get through vol 2 before school starts

Just got back to back ads for vegan foundation and men anti-balding product and I love how different that is

In Capital Vol 1, Marx argued that productivity increases tend to lead to a reduction in demand for labor, although Marx celebrated the productivity of mechanization, condemning capitalist relations of production rather than technology itself.

i hate myself so much im so fat and gross

"As shown above (see section 4.2 or 5.2), economic actors follow a rationality that is imposed upon them by the economic relations. Thus the constant attempts by capitalists to raise the level of valorization (in the normal case) does not result from an “excessive addiction to

Reading “Racism Without Racists” right now and oh god the amount of bullshit Gail had to deal with from me… yikes. I was afforded a lot of patience and grace but like wow that must have been so frustrating. Like ofc I’ve known this for a bit but just remembering

Sociology is super interesting but I’m kinda glad the classes offered at UW kinda suck, otherwise I’d be very tempted to ruin my course plan even more lol

oh my god this is the shit i hate so much like https://youtu.be/D9yWdfszKFs

This response feels really weird and gross idk https://youtu.be/tR28fJBFWjs

Dude today has been like low key traumatic. It’s been move in week for ppl so they set up a big dumpster outside for trash and it has a bunch of flies, and somehow they’re getting in my apartment. It freaks me out so much having them around, and killing them is dubious ethical

Philosophy of relationships has always been incredibly important to me and my understanding of how I connect with others. Drifting between various understandings during adolescence drastically altered how I interacted with others. Often this wasn't exactly conscious choice by me

Getting cosmetic surgery for my neck tomorrow. I really hope it helps. I honestly don’t mind too much intrinsically, but others treat me a little weird for it I think. It was fading for a bit but more recently it’s become larger and more red. It would be nice to have it

Why Tolstoy so based on war and prisons but so cringe on marriage (also prison)

Marriage is between one enby, one trans woman, and one gender fluid person. Anything else is an abomination. -god probably

Were a man but to act as he finds best for himself, were he but to refuse to go to war, he would have to dig ditches; but he would not be tortured in Sebastopool or Plevna. Let a man not believe that it is indispensable to wear a watch chain and to have useless drawing rooms,

inside you there are two wolves

incredible

My haircut made it so I lost the breakpoint of having the top easily and comfortably going behind my ears on its own T^T rough to adapt to now

Oh my god they’re so hot lol. I’m so out of practice being flirty fuck lmao, this is nice tho :)

It might be argued that the existing, hierarchical state, if and when it has been seized by a ‘true’ socialist party and has successfully transitioned from capitalism to an early stage of socialism, will lose its capitalist character. Even if such a state retains some

"helping others process emotional stress" - an patriarchal expectation I don't think I've examined thoroughly enough in my own actions and behavior. I think in large part I took advantage of this expectation in my relationship with Gail and didn't give her the space, room, and

i am immensely interested in informal social structures of power

The society of the future should be nothing other than the universalization of the organisation with which the international will have endowed itself. We must, therefore, have to care to ensure that that organisation comes as close as we may to our ideal.

While it would be a mistake to pretend that rethinking, revalueing, and recreating the way we see and practice relationships isn’t difficult work— it is— it would be an even greater mistake to ignore the reason we set to that work to begin with.

the past sucks, im not looking forward to the future either.

In other news, muzhoka knows this really cute gay guy that streams and he’s so fucking hot

I really don’t want to go on rn. I don’t want to interact with people, I don’t want to be forced into labor, I don’t want to leave my room, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to have to think about how fucked the world is

I don’t feel very good :/ I want to go for a run but it’s way too late and I already did today.

There’s this interesting contradiction I have where the thing most important to me is my mind and mental experience I’d say, like the things that primarily interest me are in that way, and often psychical things just get in my way and frustrate that more intellectual pursuit.

this is really random but im searching for cute underwear rn and remembered a time when i was kid where i basically tucked and tried to convince isaiah that something happened to my penis lol - there are actually a lot of instances of me doing stuff breaking from gender norms/

I feel gorgeous right now ☺️ cleaned up and shaved my legs and ah euphoria :)

I think something I really appreciate but often isn't said is how important philosophy has been to my life. It helps me avoid existential boredom and find meaning in everyday events by connecting them to a larger picture of values. Honestly I think this type of thinking and

Oh I should also mention that recently I’ve been able to feel a bit positive about my penis, which is a nice change. Still often uncomfortable about it, but I’ve been able to look at in the mirror without looking away which is nice.

holy fuck episode 15 was beautiful. im crying.

the last few days i have felt REALLY good about my body. I think its because I haven't been eating that much and my belly just isn't full, but maybe running more has something to do with it too. Long hair also feels really nice, and I'm enjoying it getting longer

starting darling in the franxx, theres a lot that i like but oh my god its almost unwatchable. the fanservice EXCLUSIVELY done to women characters is fucking awful and constant, and even the MC girl who is like sexually confident gets sexualized by the camera angles

Bloom Into You is giving me the opportunity to look into asexual and aromantic stuff more and its so interesting! like sex favorable asexuals are so fascinating and its super freeing to have this understanding to describe things